Eulogy for Dad 11th September 2024 Dad’s jokes had names. We first met the most familiar ones when we were growing up, and they turned up at family gatherings, Christmases, birthdays, weddings and funerals - year on year. They were known as Dad jokes when we were growing up, and Granddad jokes when the grandchildren first met them, recognised them and grew familiar with them. Anyone here who has ever shared a buffet with Dad may know his ‘Arab Lifesaver joke’ because he just couldn’t help himself. “Why don’t Arabs starve in the desert?”. “Because of all the sand-which-is there”. Boom. A joke which didn’t need to be told to be funny. Just referred to. Dad was born in 1943 to Laura and Leslie. His brother Graeme was born three years later and their early years were spent in Wembley. Graeme remembers that there were advantages to being Dad’s little brother. First, that Dad was the one that always had to win the “age-related” permits. But once the hard work was done, Graeme managed to get the permits a year or so younger than him! And Graeme always wanted to do what Dad did. Railway journeys were enlivened by his authoritative stream of knowledge on signals, livery colours and single-track working safeguards. Of course Dad had the big bike first, but he taught Graeme how to change a wheel, mend a puncture and put the chain back on. And he led them both to London where he showed Graeme how to get round Hyde Park Corner on a bike - by ‘safely’ pedalling at the same speed as the buses and other traffic. Dad was educated at the Salvatorian College in Harrow and then went on to St Benedict’s in Ealing. He enjoyed his years there and was an enthusiastic member of the CCF. We often heard stories of his exploits whether getting lost on a training expedition to Dartmoor, or the perils of jumping off a Routemaster bus with Blakey’s in your army boots. Mum can’t remember when she first saw Dad – he was just one of the boys on the 83 bus from Wembley to Ealing. It wasn’t until they met working on the Christmas Post when they were 17 that they actually spoke to each other. Soon a close group of friends from the two sixth forms developed and the friendships endured after they left school. 1964 was the year of the 21st birthdays and there were many parties – by the end they were a couple! Their first date was an open-air concert in Holland Park – Beethoven’s Pastoral Symphony – you will hear part of it later. Mum had just qualified as a teacher, but Dad was still ploughing his way through articles as a Chartered Accountant. They were both living at home with the parents in Wembley. Dad worked in Southall and Mum in Hayes, so, in his generous way, he offered her a lift to school – first on his Honda 50 motorbike, then in the ancient Morris Minor he bought When Dad qualified in 1967, he went on to one of the large accountancy firms in the city. With his generous spirit again, he told Mum that, if she learned to drive, she could use his car to drive herself to school. By 1968 they had scraped together enough money for a mortgage deposit and married in St Joseph’s Church in Wembley, with Graeme proud to be asked to be his best man. They bought a maisonette in Ashford Middlesex – chosen for a good rail link to London and an easy drive to Hayes. We came along in the early seventies - Nick in 1970 while still in Ashford. Then Dad was offered a partnership at Rouse in Beaconsfield. They moved to Holtspur in 1972 and I was born the year after. It was in 1972 that the family became parishioners here at St Teresa’s. Looking back now there seems to have been a lot of holidays; beach holidays in Devon, farm holidays in Wales, camping and caravanning all over the UK and Europe, and travelling to see friends and family all over the world including a visit to New Zealand to see Mum’s brother, Steve and his family, and from our teenage years onwards lots of time spent at Mum and Dad’s beloved cottage in Norfolk. Mum was looking through photographs last week for the order of service. After a while she paused and said, “There are a lot of pictures of mountains”. That was a definite theme too. He loved a walk, preferably with his trusty walking stick, and ideally with something to eat in his pocket - chocolate, nuts, Kendall mint cake, Tiffin – sometimes even a sausage roll or two. There were two memorable features of walks with Dad, one was the food, and the other was pace. He was 6’2’’ and had long legs, and never really seemed to realise that we as kids and Mum… as well… Mum. Didn’t. So off he’d go, snacks in pocket, striding up the nearest mountain with the three of us at a gentle jog behind him. We were talking the other day about his hobbies. In the early days it was definitely DIY. It was his way of unwinding after work. He built a lot of the furniture for their first house, and some of it is still in use at the house in Seer Green today. In more recent times, however, the cottage in Norfolk was really his hobby. From well before Mum and Dad retired, they drove up the two and half hours to North Norfolk for a weekend every two weeks. They became as much part of the parish family in Fakenham as they are here. Taking friends and family to the cottage in Norfolk also gave him great pleasure. He was a brilliant local guide, and his enjoyment of being a ‘host’ was just one indication of his natural generosity. It wasn’t just Norfolk, at home too there were dinner parties and family parties. He was always ready with a glass of wine and a joke or two. Our New Zealand cousins Emma and Alice both spent time in the UK and were regular Sunday lunch guests. They soon became very familiar with the Dad jokes! Mum and Dad took early retirement although Dad continued at home with tax clients for another ten years. This flexibility gave them a chance for more holidays, including another visit to New Zealand. There were weddings and the arrival of five grandchildren in five years – that kept him on his toes! The parish also took up some of his spare time. He was Parish Treasurer here for over 40 years! He was also a willing helper with Mum’s SVP activities – always ready to give a lift or have a chat. His sense of fun always cheered people up. The church and the community around it was very important to him. After he retired, our family friend Sheila bought him into contact with the Servite Sisters. He became a school governor and later Chair of Governors at one of their schools in London and helped them out in all sorts of ways with financial advice - nuns are among his greatest fans! There were parish pilgrimages, steam railway trips, lunches out with a group of friends discovering new local restaurants – never a dull moment! So, in keeping with his love of a party, and in recognition how much you all, his friends and family, meant to him, please join us in the parish centre. We’ll raise a glass to him as our absent host, and most likely find time for a sausage roll and an Arab life Saver.